Ingenuity in the age of Soundbites

Its good to see that the bond between creativity and drug use has remained a strong and vibrant union. We can play the game of chicken and egg or we can celebrate those who took the time and effort, and perhaps should have thought through security glitches a bit more.

In July of this year a man in Austin, Texas had 17 cookies of crack cocaine seized from his possesion (along with another 10 grams of crack). And yes, you read correctly, I said cookie of crack. Here, have a look...

Granted, he got busted, but it was for providing a false ID to the police. One should wonder how many of these cracky snacks made their way through to the local bodegas and 7-11....or something like that. Its no cocaine based plastic, ala Traffic, but impressive packaging at the very least.

Now as for the issue of transport, on Friday a homemade submarine was busted off of Costa Rica's Pacific coast packed with 3 TONS of cocaine. Thats alot of weight to be pushing, especially when you are 4 guys in a fifty foot wood and fiberglass submarine breathing through plastic pipes. I want one, minus the 3 tons of cocaine, which I imagine is what slowed down the vehicle to a 7MPH crawl. As of yet there are no photos available, instead have a look at this far more impressive but incomplete 100 foot vessel found in a Columbian warehouse in 2000 (Russian documents left beside it)


My favorite is now and will likely remain this elaborate underground grow-room. Equipped with a secret hydraulic door through the garage and led 50 yards into the ground, with living quarters and the ability to yield a harvest every 60 days. The escape route was a second hydraulic door that opened up via a rock.

As impressive and covert as this all is, they must've missed a few steps otherwise you wouldn't be reading about it.

Now what I want to know is: why is it that the only things the stoners I know make are sandwiches and beats? Holler at me if you want to get together and solder some old cans into a submarine, we dont even have to smuggle anything. Lets just see how far into the open water we can go.....

In honor of all those failed pirates, here's a little something for all of you: Booty!